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I don"t care to join any club that's prepared to have me as a member	Groucho Marx
One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic.	Lee Trevino
The truly great things happen when a genius is alone. This is true especially among golfers.	J.R. Coulson
I sure was glad I ran out of holes. I looked down at my hands and arms to see if it was me when I finished with the score.	Don January
The winds were blowing 50 mph and gusting to 70. I hit a par 3 with my hat.	Chi Chi Rodriguez (on the windy course in Scotland)
Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case.	Bobby Jones
Most golfers prepare for disaster. A good golfer prepares for success.	Bob Toski
Hagen said that no one remembers who finished second. But they still ask me if I ever think about that putt I missed to win the 1970 Open at St. Andrews. I tell them that sometimes it doesn't cross my mind for a full five minutes.	Doug Sanders
When Jack Nicklaus plays well, he wins. When he plays badly, he finishes second. When he plays terribly, he finishes third.	Johnny Miller
All good players have good hands. And I'm afraid you have to be born with them.	Dave Stockton
Beyond the fact that it is a limitless arena for the full play of human nature, there is no sure accounting for golf's fascination.... Perhaps it is nothing more than the best game man has ever devised.	Herbert Warren Wind
Everyone has his own choking level, a level at which he fails to play his normal golf. As you get more experienced, your choking level rises.	Johnny Miller
Golf is neither a microcosm nor a metaphor for life. It is a sport, a bloodless sport, if you don't count ulcers.	Dick Schaap
There is no movement in the hole swing so difficult that it cannot be made even more difficult by careful study and diligent practice.	Thomas Mulligan
You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen.	Lee Trevino
Do I ever disagree with him on course strategy? NEVER-- unless he's wrong.	Gary Nicklaus (on caddying for his father)
Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one.	Martha Beckman
The reason the Road Hole is the greatest par 4 in the world is because it's a par 5!	Ben Crenshaw (on the seventeenth hole at St. Andrews)
After an abominable round of golf, a man is known to have slit his wrists with a razor blade and, having bandaged them, to have stumbled into the locker room and enquired of his partner, "What time tomorrow?	Alistair Cooke
I've lost balls in every hazard and on every course I've tried. But when I lose a ball in the ball washer it's time to take stock.	Milton Gross
It could be worse; I could be allergic to beer.	Greg Norman (on being allergic to grass)